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Rachel Hannah's avatar

Motherhood, for me, showed me I was capable of so much more than I ever thought possible. As the primary caretaker and the one who carried the "mental load" (a term I could have used to describe my experience), I neglected myself and even my marriage for a couple of decades. Despite the fact that nothing has ever (or will ever) bring me as much joy and satisfaction as mothering, resentment built toward my spouse, revealing itself in my early 50's. But what I had to finally admit was that I also took satisfaction in this arrangement, the righteous anger, that I wanted to be in control, the parent who could claim the role of "primary."

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Theresa Shea's avatar

I, too, have difficulty sitting still or “doing nothing.” My three children are young adults now, so my time is more my own, but often I feel like I am making up for “lost” time in that I gave so much to parenting. My children were very much wanted, so how do I construe that time as lost? Thanks for this.

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